Warning: Post May Actually Be Useful

As a change, I'm afraid this post may have content of potential use to other travellers. I'll try not to make a habit of it, and won't start just yet.

Having joked yesterday that I'd wake at 10:45am to catch the 11am end of the Hotel Duquesa Golf breakfast, I find I actually wake at 10:50 and manage to fill my plate before they start to clear. We spend a lazy midday and early afternoon by the pool, then decide to visit Gibraltar today to save time tomorrow.

*Gibraltar*
When the Brits took Gibraltar in the 1700s, the Spanish retreated just out of cannon range and took up positions at La Linea de la Concepcion, expecting to be back in a couple of months. It's now a major town with a Carrefour hypermarket!
Set the satnav for Gibraltar, but when you get to the point where you'd have to turn sharp right to go 70 metres to some structures that look like border controls, instead hang a sharp left (or go to the roundabout ahead and do a U-ey, then right). There's a largeish underground car park that isn't very expensive - we paid 6 Euros - and has clearance for a 2m high Landcruiser.
From there, it's a short walk across the border and you can catch a number 9 bus to the near end of Main Street (as we did today) or a number 3 to the far end (as we did tomorrow, if you follow my meaning). Both run every 15 minutes and cost 1 Euro single or 2.5 Euros for an all-day pass. Buses stop at 9pm.
Although Gibraltar uses Gibraltar pounds sterling, we didn't find anywhere we couldn't use nasty foreign Euros, although we did find some "heavily loaded" exchange rates - our fault for not having real money.
The bus dropped us in Casemates Square at 6:30pm and we walked the length of Main Street, spotting a cable car from the end. We headed to the bottom, just opposite the Fire Station with plackards of protest outside, only to find that the last lift up is at 7:15pm, almost half an hour ago.
It looks so good that we decide to return tomorrow. After a beer, we catch a taxi back to the frontier.

*Not Gibraltar*
Apart from the bar/restaurants just over a footbridge from the Hotel Duquesa Golf, there a a number of restaurants "by the port" (actually a large resort complex) slightly further away. Reception advises us to get a taxi each way, which turns out sensible but expensive at over 6 Euros for less than 5 minutes. Amazingly, nearly every restaurant is Chinese, with the remainder Indian. Oh no - Brits abroad! Just as we're about to wait for a table at the only Mexican, we spot "little Italy", a square with two Italian restaurants facing each other. The Italian-flag-coloured waiters of El Capitan take position, hovering ready to swoop should we show too much interest. The brown-and-orange staff of Ciao start to float over, but an El Capitan staffer heads them off. We float sideways to defuse a confrontation, then choose Ciao because Sarah doesn't like the other place's name.
We round off with cocktails at "Pantalan 56", a cocktail bar with great ambience, but only the brave should attempt their Margherita with ginger and chilli, as I did.
Because the stationery at our hotel says "Suites Duquesa Golf", that's what I ask the taxi driver for. We end up in a sidestreet outside a place where we asked for directions when we were lost yesterday. I keep saying "Golf" until we end up at the right place.

*Gibraltar Again*
This time we catch the Number 3 bus and get off near the cable car. 8 Gibraltar Pounds for cable car only, 16 with "nature reserve" and more with dolphins, both of which we omit because St. Michael's Cave that Sarah particularly wants to see aren't marked that way. We get to the top at 4pm, just after the snack bar has shut. I get the "multimedia experience" (a Windows PDA with earphone) but get two in a row with low batteries, so learn little from it.
Now comes the real learning point: there are a number of attractions up on and in the rock, including and the caves. They are at either end of the rock, 3km apart, so to see them all will require a 6km+ walk in the burning sun.
So: don't bother with the cable car - get a taxi driver or minibus tour to drive you up from the town and between all of the above. We didn't and so missed our second-and-only chance to see most of the interesting things.

*Tangier*
We'd decided, based on Thorn Tree Forum posts (on the Lonely Planet website) to travel Algeciras-to-Cueta (a Spanish territory on Morocco, as Gibraltar is a British territory on Spain) to get an easier border crossing.
However, we saw an official-looking ticket booth on a fast-road junction and got persuaded to travel Tarifa-to-Tangier instead. Even with a 2m-high car, we still get a year-long open return for 388 Euros, as opposed to the 244 Euro each way that the internet had prepared me for.
Having tickets in advance means that we just turn up at the port and leave without fuss, so a good idea.
According to the adverts, the ferry crossing is 35 minutes. We make the 9pm sailing, but it doesn't leave until after 9:30pm and we don't reach Tangier until 10:45pm.
We fill in our white entry form and our yellow exit form (which we don't need yet) and get our passports checked and stamped on the boat.
Keith is, fortunately, driving as we roll off the boat. A guy in a dark blue waistcoat with a round white logo on it (who I think is a civilian assistant) asks for the vehicle registration document, which we've forgotten to have ready. While we get that out, the guy waltzes off with Keith's passport, which quite worries Keith.
Eventually a different guy comes back, perhaps one with better English. He takes Keith through the filling in of the temporary vehicle registration form, which we'll need to get stamped before leaving the port. Someone else asks Keith whether this is his first time in Morocco. As it is, he has to go off and, as he tells it, answer questions in a police cell. He says the foot passengers are queuing to face the same experience.
The small van ahead of us gets emptied while the other guys in light blue uniforms and peaked hats look on. Every space inside is full! After about five minutes unloading, not one but two motorbikes come out. They've got nearly full-size angines but very low seats, so we assume they're for children with a real head for speed (or very irresponsible parents).
Keith returns without the vehicle form, then another blue-waistcoat guy goes off with Keith's passport, this time causing less consternation. Eventually, it comes back with a stamped form and we're free to leave.
Each time one of the blue-waistcoat guys touches our passport he asks for a tip. We've genuinely left Spain with almost no money (for which, I think I'm stupid) so we give them only change, saying we have no money. I actually changed my last 50 Euros into 550 Dirham on the boat, but keep quiet about it.
I think we finally left the port about 11:30pm, so overall not too bad for a border crossing. We did have ideas about seeking a vehicle accident form and breakdown insurance at the port, but these go by the board as we become so keen to escape.

And so on to the next phase. Colleague Tony has recommended a couple of hotels from his recent trip. One is the Hotel Continental, Tangier, which I researched a little on the internet in the Duquesa Hotel/Suites/Thingy. After we got the ferry tickets, Keith rang and booked, but didn't need to give any card info. I looked on Google maps and Google Earth and found three different locations plotted. Cheers!
I also found directions, unfortunately two different sets, which don't agree. Consequently, the others decide to ignore both and follow a map in the guidebook. At 12:30am we're still lost and going in circles when Keith starts going the wrong way up a one-way street. Among the people who make genuinely helpful comments (try the same in London and it might be different) is a taxi driver. He tells us we're 20 minutes from the right place and suggests we follow him. Some time later we pass the port entrance and are looking up at the hotel. Upon request, he suggests 100 Dirham would be appropriate, so he gets that and much extra gratitude.
So here are the road directions from the Tangier Ferry terminal to the Hotel Continental: As yu're on the last straight bit of road inside the port heading toward the port gates (well, gateway) look up and to your right.You'll see the hotel and save much heartache. The moment you come out of the port gates, turn right. After only 100m or so you come to what looks like a T-junction, but actually the road bends right. Turn right again and go into what looks like a cul-de-sac. On your left is a white ramp. Do a hairpin left at the end and go up that. It leads into tiny alleyways with signs to the hotel car park. Despite appearances, it is possible to fit a 2m high, 5.5m long Landcruiser through these, but I'm glad it was Keith doing it.
We arrive at the hotel and a quiet older man is summoned to check us in. We fill a form in each and wait while he copies the details into a huge book, one person per line across two pages.
Web comments suggested the hotel, the oldest in Tangier, is a place of faded glory. Yes and no. Yes, because there's some places where you really don't want everything shiny and new. No, because they're obviously doing quite a lot of work to refurbish the hotel in a non-disruptive way. I get single room 101 half-expecting a broom closet, but it's a nice sized room looking onto an inner courtyard with TV, aircon and a bathroom that's obviously recently refitted to a good standard. When I take my shower at 1am, the hot water isn't - but that's not an unpleasant surprise. Only murmur might be that only one bulb in the 5-bulb ceiling fitting works, but that's all that's needed. I have a lot of sympathy with people trying to make a place hospitable without wasting money.
It's Ramadam for the whole time we're here and I'm curious about how it will affect us. The room marked "Restaurant" is closed with a large padlock and chain through the handles. I'll have to ask Tony how things are normally. Instead, I'm seated on an outside terrace on the first floor of the hotel, looking down over the port, and given a bowl of rolls and pastries, fresh orange juice and coffee. Nice.
The hotel doesn't take cards, so first task is to find an ATM. A staff member tries several times to give us directions, saying it's one minute, but it still takes us 15 minutes to find anything. We leave, following the signs to the motorway to Rabat, on our way to the Roman ruins at Volubilis, just north of Meknes.
Parking is 10Dh and entry is 10Dh per person. We get a guide to show us round, and are glad we did. There's a number of mosaic floors, upright columns and the big arches at each end of the main street. Wonderful, if you like that sort of thing (and we do).
Funniest thing are the largeish piles of broken pottery, just laying about. Time Team would wet themselves for a couple of bits off the top!